Monday, September 23, 2013

Exposed to love

©pic: Rona Nushi, Model: Marigona Nila 


 Two days and a breakfast long was our vacation this time. On the way back it felt like those green fields full of life were moving and our car was frozen on a spot. I swear I saw the first rain drops and the way they hit the ground raising up dust reminded me of you. Seeing your face for the first time felt just the same. You were like a needful freshness on a summer swelter, but now you've already covered the whole sun. The fear of losing you maybe has poisoned our love. But, your doubt of eternal love has poisoned it more, don't dispute it. Sincerely, I used to put my feet on yours and trusted your guide blindfolded. We've passed through deserts together and then enjoyed the oasis, foolish as we were.
 It was when you failed on holding me close when we lost our way. But, happily I would choose to say: "I found my way." I never used to know how dusk my days were until I saw the true bright. It used to feel like heaven on your chest, until I walked myself to heaven. I'm still keeping it humble and I know there's a long way till the end of the road, but you know my purpose is not the end. I'm making sure to enjoy the ride that I'm starting myself and the sun is incredibly shining on me. Maybe it always did, but your shadow was on my way.
 As things are getting much better for both of us, I thank you for taking me through good and bad. Although back then I couldn't define one from the other, now I've gained my own skills to measure them.
 But, now I feel the need to remind you that love is not there to be used. It's there to be caught, like you caught a cold, remember? Love is there to get drowned on it and then to learn how to swim. It's there to give a tumor to your feelings and make them grow and grow and grow. It's there for me, you and everyone who dares to get exposed to love. So, there's no better way to close my confession than wishing you to catch love. True love. Incurable love.

R.N.

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The (sub)conscious on a monologue


-Stare!
-In a lost spot or in a target?
-No. Just stare in the air, feel like you're walking the labyrinth of your soul and tell me what you see.
-I see a big mess, an ocean and a stone. How do I know where to walk?
-You don't walk. You fly. Your brain walks. Use your heart if you want to fly. Now tell me again what you see.
-I'm trying to fly. The wind - should I go against it?
-Go, if it makes you feel better!
-It does. My wings fly higher now. I don't see the mess anymore and the ocean - it's all around me. Can I try to jump?
-Do it! Really hard.
-The mess - it's back again. I'm feeling fatigue.
-That's good. Stay there as long as you can. When you can't handle it anymore, jump out and fly again.
-I really doubt I can fly again. But I'll try.
-Do it and tell me how you feel.
-The sky turned much prettier now. Did anything change or my eyes just see better? And I feel released, strong, stronger! Gravity - it doesn't exist anymore. Bird? Can I say I feel like a bird?
-I'll tell you later. Now, remember the stone? Try to find it and land there. Walk for a while and tell me what you see.
-I landed and I'm walking through the stone. I arrived at the ocean now. What do I do?
-Walk!
-How?
-Walk through the ocean until you find another place to rest.
-It's not working. Can I swim? But, it's impossible to swim that far away, anyways. What does that mean?
-Swimming? That means you're using your brain and heart together. If you want to reach something faster - fly! If you want to enjoy the trip more, swim. Walking is always slower and will never take you somewhere interesting.

R.N.