A wish in Paris

 My dream was cut in the middle when my eyes were lazily opening from the sun rays. It felt like I woke up in another dream seeing this panorama from my window. The unlimited blue sky mixing with the piercing yellowish sun, the royal style buildings with the immortal river living in the middle and of course,  people giving sense to this view with their energized smiley faces. In a brief moment I had an impression that time had no sense. Just seeing this view, the fabulous palaces and buildings that held on lifetime stories interlacing with the modern life and now days people made me feel like I'm living all the eras now, like there's no past and present, it's just now!
  It was spring time in Paris and I've waited for this day a long time. Work was getting tough everyday and more and a lot of responsibilities were making me exhausted. Unlike the hate that would give me sometimes this city, today I was loving everything about Paris and I had to enjoy every single Sunday moment!
  No breakfast, no coffee.. decided to do everything outside next to the people, to the ones that felt so far away, but somehow they made me feel home today. I was lucky to have an apartment for rent at Avenue Marceau, thanks to my work that offered me that. I didn't need to use metro a lot and most of all I had an incredible view from the window, with Arc de Triomphe in front and beautiful old style buildings all around.
 Well, I went downstairs, wearing a sportive and comfy outfit, pick a "to go" gingerbread latte and a banana nut loaf at the closest Starbucks in the street. I had no destination, but my heart new what the best destination would be. After I finished breakfast and the morning coffee, sitting in the close by park in Square Brignole Galliera I went were I should have gone weeks ago, months ago..
 That underground tunnel was always full of tourists, but luckily the line went fast and it didn't take too long to get out. To get out or to get in, I don't know how to define it, but I was at the Arc de Triomphe, sitting under it and seeing the names of Great People, one by one. I wasn't there as a tourist anymore, I was there to reflect, to recall and to remember. I was there to think of my past and what took me to be there, even though sometimes I would suffer and be homesick, I always knew greater moments will come.
 I raised my head up high to take a deep breath with that inspiring sky view, when from the middle of the arc, right where the two columns kiss each other, there was a call from the sky to make a wish. It was still day light to see a meteor falling, but making a wish in Paris didn't require a specific condition. Paris itself was a dreamland, and in a dreamland wishes come true anyways.
 So, under the shade of the arc, under the engraved names, I closed my eyes and whispered to the wind: "Take my fears and bring me power. Take my doubts and bring me courage. I'm my own life's tourist, and my own self is the only wall standing before my destination."
 Happy as I was, on my way back home I started doing that "butterfly walk" I've learned on my ballet class years ago. Ah, people were looking? Wait...why? So, what? Oh well...

R.N.

Compos Sui - Master of himself

Compos sui is a Latin term meaning master of himself. A compos sui person is a person that is free to guide his own life, a person that utters words that are in his veins, steps where his heart wants to be, breaths the air that makes him alive and does what his inner self says to do. A person that creates his own life as it was meant to be, not as circumstances want it to be. Someone that is true to his soul and follows his destiny. Someone that was born, is living and will die as a very ONE OF A KIND, as all SHOULD be. Someone that I free myself to be, everyday and on!
 After all, I'm the one who tortures and feels the pain, the one who creates me everyday... :)

  

To my second home, Laredo

(cut from my diary)
                                                      ***


The plane started moving and my heart started racing with it. I was alone when I came here and alone I'm leaving. But I have a whole great experience getting with me. The plane was flying in top of Laredo and I was testing myself if I'm ready to say goodbye to that little city that gave me so much. The darkness was getting lighter and shiner with all the lights of the city of Laredo. The plane kept going, the lights were disappearing and my host family, friends, rotarians, school, crushes, marching band, track and field, horseback riding and so many other things I was leaving behind. Tears started dropping through my face. So much in a day, so much in a year, so much in a seventeen year life.
I have chosen not an easy life for myself, so I need to get used of living and leaving, even though saying goodbye is what hurts me the most. But, I realize that life moves on and so do I! Sticking on a past dream may cause me to not live the present and lose my future.
But I still let myself cry, cry for every moment spent in all USA, no matter if it was a happy moment or a sad one, because I did what I wanted and I enjoyed it! I even more cry for the people, for the ones that opened their heart to me and made me feel great, and for the ones that chose to better keep the love for themselves, but lost so much by not knowing one more person in the world.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 28, 2009    3:12 AM

                                                       

Kanga Jonë - Jericho

"Life is mind's little baby. Raise it healthy"

" It was already dark outside when I finished work and I couldn't resist but go home walking and enjoy that beautiful night. The city was really inspiring me, with the mighty buildings and their shining lights that looked like they were all pointing in the same thing up in the sky. I was enjoying every second of my walk, seeing tourists full of energy, young couples with the hope reflecting from their eyes and right after them I see a homeless man holding an old and dirty letter in his hands. I got really curious to see what was written on it, and I notice: "Life is mind's little baby. Raise it healthy". In my mind I was trying to create my own explanation for the expression and it really made me think a lot.
 We're almost seven billion species of a kind and we all have different 'life reaps based on our life plants'. We were born clear of history and we started creating one from the very first breath we've made. At the beginning we could not walk on our own, but we kept on stamping paws in life receiving help. This way we kept on going forward, day by day getting stronger, making more steps on our own. Each move we would make and each word me would say reflected on our history.
 There are some kind of people that act improperly without knowing the damage they're causing to themselves. Yes, it's really easy to achieve success all alone, but it's worthless since you'll fail as a friend and that's kind of a big deal. Some little minds lack the reasoning skills and they raise their life improperly. Why would we need an applause inside the room when outside in the real big world we don't receive the smallest respect? This is the typical reap of small minds that achieve something using people and right after that they forget them. They think they've caught the top and nothing can bring them down, but...smash! They kiss the ground... These kind of people are really to feel sorry of.
 And this explains all what the smart man wanted to say. We create our life all based on our acts that come out of our mind. So I think, since in life we have the luxury to choose, then we should forget ego and choose only positive ways instead.
Then I realized how much I've walked, but I felt like going back at that homeless man and thank him for those two short sentences full of a great meaning. I hope many people read and understand them. And most of all I hope many people find the willpower to create a personal history to be proud of!"



R.N.

" Where she begin to understand was when she quit trying. There was a whole different reality from what she imagined it to be. Achieved, satisfied, completed and alone! Those words described her. What a paradox you'd say. Now that she has step up the stairs and imagined she could have anything much easier, someone tells her it's not necessarily to be good for everyone to love you. These words she's heard before, often! But life gets tough itself, often. If not, then what would be the meaning of good and bad? Well, everything's passable. This too shall pass."

Isolation years, will you ever end?

   It doesn't matter how big your dreams can be, you're always depended from the place you live! And if the abilities of your country are smaller than the horizon of your dreams, then you're trapped up :/ The worst part of this is that they also stumble you to go out of state and fulfill your mind&spirit with things they can never offer you. But I guess this is what you get when you live in a super mini country that the world doesn't trust it..

How to have a perfect vacation on your own!

(NY City)

1.Chose your favorite place to visit
2. Find a place to sleep on https://www.couchsurfing.org/
3. Put all the necessary things on a backpack (not a luggage! And don't forget your favorite book!)
4. Go there with a bus/train
5. Take a walk around on every bus/train change
6. When you get there, try to visit the city by walking, not with tour buses
7. Save at least one day only for nature walking and picnic
8. Read your favorite book siting on grass, eating sandwich and listening to music
9. Draw/paint the nature in front of you, no matter how talent you are, it'll be a great memory from your trip
10. Make friends! Asking to take a picture of you might be a great idea to start a conversation. People who travel a lot always have a kind of bond with each other, no matter where they come from :)
11. Take lots of pics! It's never enough to take pics of new places.
12. Make a special diary with your own decorations on each trip you make and write the best memories on every place you go. You can complete it with pictures also, when you get back home :)

                                                                                                                              rn.

Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind

Shine shine shine shiny things that shine, shiny smiles, shiny eyes, shiny face that never cries! Think nothing, look forward, look ahead, look up, see the sun, and shine as it shines!

Aaaaa spring is coming, streets are calling, mountains shouting, don't you see all these things that shine?
Spotless mind, no need to think, just open eyes, don't let them shrink.
And SHINE!

 by R.N. - dealing with "spring's,coming,mania"