The best discovery that I would ever do in life would be to find out why do I worry so much for everything. My heart gets so tighten that it feels like it's rounded with a belt. I try so much to calm myself but it just doesn't stops. I want everything to be perfect, I don't wanna make trouble for anyone and in the end it never goes like planned. Then, it just gets worse.
Things went so fast without realizing it. When the end came, it felt like a dream that lasts only three seconds. And it WAS a dream, the biggest one ever realized in that seventeen years life.
The (un)wanted morning came, so fast. Everything was packed, ready to leave, but was I ready? I only new that I was really late for the airport and there came again that stupid feeling that is keeping my breath. Now all those thoughts pass through my mind, like it was the biggest boarding pass without any border patrol to check.
It's such a good feeling when you start living your dream like walking bare foot, without knowing that the end is gonna come faster than you realize. And for me, it already came. Time passes sooooo fast. I went at the airport and my parents were already waiting there. The plane was supposed to leave at 05:20 am and now it already has passed 04:40 am. We went to check our luggages and they found my name on the list, but not my parents. I started getting even more stressed out and of course the worker didn't show any interest to help us. So, unfortunately, I ended up to leave Laredo by myself, because my parents were going to catch the plane of 07:20 am. My plane was going to leave in five minutes when I started running to catch it. Why my fate was supposed to be like that? At least to have the chance to say goodbye and hug with my whole love my host family. I was running to pass faster and at the same time saying goodbye to my closest people that I had in Laredo. All my host family was there with grandma and Charlie. When I was leaving everyone was yelling goodbye to me. I felt so bad for my real parents. I felt like an unfaithful leaving them behind, but I had no other choice.
I ran all the way to the airplane and when I went inside I was the most famous passenger of the day. Everyone was watching at me and I could read on their foreheads saying: " just because of you I waited here two more minutes." But who cares, I didn't miss the plane and that's important. As I was the last passenger, I got to choose my seat and fortunately I got two seats free and had enough place for my guitar too.
The plane started moving and my heart started racing with it. I was alone when I came here and alone I'm leaving. But I have a whole great experience getting with me. As the plane was flying in top of Laredo, I was testing myself if I'm ready to say goodbye to that little city that gave me so much. The darkness was getting lighter and shiner with all the lights of the city of Laredo. As the plane was going, the lights were dissapearing and my host family, friends, rotarians, school, crushes, marching band, track and field, horseback riding and oow so many other things I was leaving behind. Tears started dropping through my face. So much in a day, so much in a year, so much in a seventeen year life.
I have chosen not a easy life for myself, so I need to get used of living and leaving, even though saying goodbye is what hurts me the most. But, I realize that life moves on and so do I! Sticking on a past dream may cause me to not live the present and lose my future.
But I still let myself cry, cry for every moment spent in all USA, no matter if it was a happy moment or a sad one, cuz I did what I wanted and I enjoyed it! I even more cry for the people, for the ones that opened their heart to me and made me feel great, and for the ones that chose to better keep the love for themselves, but lost so much by not knowing one more person in the world.
